Metamorphosis

Many people said I'd changed alot. I'm no longer who I was. Hmmm... I do agree!

Previously, I was lazy, though i'm still lazy now, but with Likert's Scale of 1-10, i will mark myself as previously lazy level = 8, currently 4. What a great improvement.

I will not volunteer myself for procedures or presentation last time, but now, i get three times more signature for my VE and my presentation for Obs cases are almost completed in the 3rd week of posting! Hoooorrrraaayyyy! I'd become more proactive!

I used to be sitting on my beloved recliner and watch drama from day to night, and from night to day. Now I used to hang around the ward before sun rise till after sun set and get comatose on my bed. Tiring!

I used to be like pig eating and watching drama at home during weekends and now I go for some sports.

Last but not least, I never ever left my paid parking card in the autopay machine and today, out of the blue, I did it. However, I would like to thank the kind one who left my parking card on top of the autopay machine. Because of you, i saved RM20.

After all these while, I was thinking, am I undergoing metamorphosis? Or I'd some growth in my limbus system which cause me to have this sudden change in behaviour. Oh god! Perhaps i should get my brain a MRI some day later...

OGAC on call night

This was my 1st experience to oncall from 5pm till next morning 7pm. My last record was 8pm till 4 am which was 2 years back in O&G. Throughout the 'leaking' night, the OGAC (Obstetrics and Gynaecology Admission Centre) was visited by 80% of leaking pregnant women. The customers came 1 after 1 instead of coming in a certain period. I had limited time to clerk them beforehand and of course, unable to sleep! Throughout the night, I'd done numerous VE, clerked the Obs cases which were able to flood my log book, auscultate a pan systolic murmur *YEAH* and slept for 90 mins. The 2nd day i ended up like a zombie yawning around the ward. When i reached my home and lay on my lovely bed, i was fully knocked-out. The 3rd day, i had severe hang over effect... I had to beg the cutie staff nurse to let me sneak out some paracetamol.

Just now when I had my dinner with suat yee, I only realized that I'd not been eating fast food for 3 weeks... OMG! I will continue to miss them!

要如何quantify忙碌？

以前我时常说：“我很忙，我很累”等话。可我一直以来都未能清晰的描叙‘忙碌’这个词。
我在地狱的第十五层打转了两个星期，我突然发现我忘了很多东西。
我忘了上一次睡到自然醒是何时；
我忘了上一次翻阅八卦报是何时；
我忘了上一次见到我同屋是何时；
我忘了上一次阅读报纸是何时；
我忘了上一次吃快餐是何时；

我忘了上一次吃大餐是何时；

我忘了上一次吃海鲜是何时；

我忘了上一次打麻将时何时；

我忘了上一次发呆时何时；
我忘了上一次唱k是何时；
最凄凉的是，
我忘了上一次我全神贯注的玩电脑游戏是何时。。。
我只记得，当太阳蠢蠢欲动时出门，到万家灯火时才归家。
偶尔万家灯火等我等到万家熄火时，我才能步入家门。
原来，我真的不闲空。

别说我没良心，我记得我上一次见到我爹娘是在上个星期，我还特地再陪他们吃多半餐饭，因为我事前吃饱了，可我忘了是星期几。

劳累。喜悦

今天尝试了辛劳换来的喜悦，虽然没得到什么签名或认可，但这将会是个让我难忘的on-call经验。第一位病人不幸小产了，第二位病人强忍着阵阵的剧痛在生冷的手术台上顺利产下一名男婴。第三位病人，在峰回路转的情况下，从期盼自然生，到气馁要开刀接生，再到最后的坚持与奋斗，几经艰辛才顺利把小女孩给带到这世上。我不知道那位母亲有多痛，也不知道她到底用了多少力气才能把那小小的生命憋出来。我只知道在我们大喊大叫的激动气氛下，我丧失了少许的卡路里。我不得不承认，母爱真的是伟大的！希望这小女孩能好好珍惜她的生命，毕竟她是在我们努力的呐喊下诞生的。

虽然很劳累，虽然没得到签名，虽然结局没能像我们预期的，可我想这一切都是值得的，尤其当那妈妈用了她仅剩的力气来向我们致谢。

（由于我实在是太累了，所以我没能将其详细的经过与感受一一写出，因为这种喜悦非三言两语就能清晰地绘画出来的！）

迟到，好过没到。

虽然你过了好久才出现，可我总算能与你邂逅。
就算你我只剩下明天，我依然庆幸能与你相遇。

说不出的劳累

第一个星期，它就把我蹂躏得体无完肤。
感觉上好像很忙，可又不知道自己做了什么。
拂晓时出门，天黑了才归家，可却像白忙一场。
忙了一天，椅子都还没坐烧，又是时候睡觉了！
明天的课，明天再烦罢。

世俗

‘宁天下人负我，不宁我负天下人’
在意别人的眼光与批评，才会想尽办法达到完美。为何要让别人满意而苦了自己？
要如何才能让所有人满意？我想破脑袋，我尽力去做，但我依然受千夫所指。
明知道有的人不值得，但依然因为某些原因而不得不顺从他人。
委屈了自己，也只有自己懂。哑子吃黄连，有苦自己知；何苦为难自己？

A complicated day

Everything happened to me today differs from who i am... And my mood swing, swang and swung to elsewhere...

1st - i woke up in the wee of morning to study and prepare for teaching. :(
2nd - i went to ward early in the morning, right after my housemates woke up. :(
3rd - i forced the registrar to listen to my poor presentation and she promised me a signature! :)
4th - i squeezed myself in the OGAC despite being shooed. :(
5th - i keep my buccae thick so i managed to perform 1 VE out of 3 patientsss... and yet i get a 3/5 score PLUS a signature! :)
6th - i volunteered myself during the workshop with the hope to finish ASAP! but it ended up late. :(
7th - i ruhsed to palpate an abdomen and i could only get the buttock correct. :(
8th - and now i feel tired and calculating when is the most suitable time for me to have a --- SLEEP! :)

疲惫

闲空了半天，也忙碌了半天，
呆呆的在途中睡睡醒醒，痴痴的等待抵达的时刻，就这样闲空了半天。
匆匆的赶回家洗洗刷刷，急急的安排庆生的节目，就这样忙碌了半天。

放任情绪自由地舞动
它带动其他人在舞池中起舞
凌乱的脚步践踏了旁人亮丽的舞鞋
受伤的舞伴们洒落在池边冷眼地注视那放荡的情绪
面对这尴尬的局面，那任意妄为的情绪该如何步下台阶？